Pain – your greatest key to success.

November 11, 2010 at 10:20 am (Life in General)

Now that heading IS a bit full on.

I am becoming more and more aware that some people are not keen on this kind of terminology and don’t see things the same what that I do – which is absolutely brilliant!

This came to my attention when I was recently sharing a few ideas with a fantastic group of aspiring entrepreneurs and I made a comment along the lines of “And you will make liars of this bastards ( who said you couldn’t achieve anything!) …!”

As soon as the “B” word left my lips, there was a collective, sharp intake of breath which confirmed my assumptions that perhaps my outlooks and motivations were purely my own.

But then I gave it a bit more thought and came to the conclusion that the approach I had taken, perhaps wasn’t wrong.

I thought about the people who I aspire to be like and the incredibly successful people who I am lucky enough to call my friends. These people are in the position that they are in, due to a number of factors that all came together to put them into that position.

Firstly, they work bloody hard.

Secondly, they have a huge capacity to learn.

Third, they are not put off by making mistakes

Fourth, they actively look for good people to surround themselves with.

Fifth – they have MASSIVE motivation.

Now, the first four points I believe are teachable and anyone can learn them. The fifth point, in my opinion, is the most powerful point and the element that holds it all together. Without the motivation, you’re going nowhere. Its like having your absolute dream car but not having any petrol in it. It doesn’t go anywhere.

People say that motivation is an “inside job”. It’s something that comes from with-in you and that it can’t be taught. I disagree with this to some extend. I believe that people can be inspired or motivated if they are put in an environment that is conducive to their motivation – like using a service like www.mobivation.com . Once they are out of that environment, they are on their own. 

Then it comes to something deeper in you. Somewhere MUCH deeper  in you. Somewhere that many people don’t want to go to because it’s uncomfortable and you can get emotional over it. It can be dark and it can be unsettling… but it is VERY VERY VERY powerful and it can be bridled as a positive energy or a negative one.

It comes down to your pain. People who have endure HUGE pain and learnt how to use it will never stop moving forward. Yes, from pain – anger stems. Anger is a destructive force seen time and time again to hurt people – but it also carries HUGE power and HUGE benefit if used correctly.

So what is it? Is it the pain of not being able to live the life that you want that’s going to get you going and allow you to stop believing your “reasons why you can’t do it”?

Is it the pain of people saying “I told you so!” when you come up short again and again? Is the pain of labeling yourself an underachiever when you see others achieving more than you that PHires you up!?

Is the pain of knowing that there is something out there that you and only you can do to serve other people in a way that nobody else can – and if you don’t do it, nobody else will?

I was having a chat with a very good friend of mine who is an ex- heavy weight pro boxer and we came on to this subject. He put it into a brilliant light for me when he spoke about his “pre-fight” state of mind.

He said to me “Paul, when I used to go into the ring, I had so much hatred towards my opponent. I put myself into a place where he is trying to hurt my kids, he is trying to take the food off their table, he is taking the clothes off their backs and trying to condemn them to a life below what they deserve. When I get in there Paul, I am a raging beast with only one thing on my mind”    

I nodded and took a quick sip of my coffee, trying to mask the way I was shaking from being emotionally moved by his shift in frame of mind.

Then he looked across at me and his expression softened. He said ” That pain-filled hate only stays with me for about the first 3 rounds. After that, the pain and anger goes away. It then is a very different frame of mind, Paul. The hate goes and it’s replaced by love.”

I looked at him with a bit of a smirk as if he was setting me up for a “Gotcha!” but he continued :

“Into the 3rd round, when we get into what we call Deep Water, that’s when the anger goes and we are driven by something very different. We are driven by LOVE. The love for what we do. The love for our family. The love for the contest. Even the love for our opponent.”

I had to cut in there and exclaimed “The Love for your opponent?” You mean that guy who has been trying to take your head off for the last 3 rounds?

He laughed and said “Yup! You see, that guy who has been trying to take my head off, he has taken the absolute best that I have given him and he is STILL standing there.

He is giving as good as he is getting and that means that he had to train through the same trials and tribulations that I did. You have to respect a guy like that. I know how hard I have trained to get to where I am and the sacrifices that I have made. He has done the same and as such, is the same human being as me. Therefore I have a respect and a love for him.”

He left me with this thought, “That pain and anger is a great fire starter. A great element that will get you going. The thing is though, pain and anger causes burn-out. You can’t be running on adrenaline for too long or it will totally burn you out. Anger starts the fire and it gets you going but love is what keeps you going. The love of what you do and why you do it. Anger starts the fire. Love keeps it burning.

To your Health, Wealth and Happiness.

PH

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